reality check

so after my joyous post about my coffeeshop cutie, i went in the next day and had the longest conversation i'd had with him yet. and then he played suspicious minds for everyone to hear (well at that point, everyone was him, me and i think one other person). but we had a connection. we talked, we laughed, i told him i wanted to buy his record...it was great.

but then today, it was back to normal; sure a little banter but nothing out of the ordinary. i think our golden moment together is gone...that's ok, i was starting to feel a little too much like a desperate stalker anyway. but i do love his voice and i'm still determined to get my hands on his album at some point.

and now, back in reality-land...prometric testing services has turned against us. somehow, due to some computer glitch that i will never truly understand, they've had to cancel those taking the boards both today and tomorrow. and who knows about wednesday. shitballs, this is a big deal. a huge deal. because the only reschedule dates that are available in rochester aren't until july 10, the day after we start third year rotations.

are you kidding me??

so what are the options?

call the testing service and hope that there is an opening at a testing center somewhere within driving distance. poor emily, our flight is thursday so she's scrambling, hoping that the gods will come through and she'll be able to take her exam tomorrow. if not...it looks like we might be going down to colorado springs next monday and then leaving for utah from there. not exactly ideal but you gotta do what you gotta do.

how in the hell is there no backup to the computer system? how is that possible? this can't be the first time this has happened and it most assuredly won't be the last time. so how is there no other option for people than to reschedule? don't these people understand what kind of forethought and planning goes into scheduling a test date? do they have any idea at all?

if it were me (which it almost but not quite is), i'd be freaking out right now. tantrums would be thrown, tears would be shed, blame would be placed. but of course, with emily, the calm cool collected one, she's realizing that none of those things would be very productive so, of course, she's being mature and rational and just realizing that things will work out how they work out. one way or another, she'll take the boards, blow them out of the water and get into the very best residency program possible. which is good, because she's going to be taking care of me and my family for the foreseeable future, and we lees demand the best medical care possible.

incidentally, i spoke to the ex this evening sort of on a whim. i had talked to jess already and i just wanted to check in and see how things would work out for seeing him this weekend. and of course, towards the end of the conversation, i was once again thankful that we are no longer together. he is incapable of any kind of certainty in any of his statements and he is.....soooo.....slow....like painfully so. and then, right at the end of the conversation, right when i was ready to hang up, he did it. he gave me that little giggle, that little guttural hiccup of joy that always made me want to take him in my arms and smother him when we were together. and that made me remember why i was with him for so long, why i endured the inconceivable lack of urgency with which he tackled all tasks, from tying his shoes to ordering off of a menu. it was because i loved him.

thank god that's over.